The Mother’s Day Message That Never Left Me

Mother's Day is always special for me. There has not been one that has passed where I do not feel celebrated and loved. This past Mother's Day, while I was sitting at my desk sipping a cup of tea, I looked at the beautifully decorated picture my children both created with a list of the things they love about me. Indeed, this is one of the best presents I have ever received. Every quality, emotion, and action I wanted them to feel and receive from me is on that list. Looking upon their gift took me back to that special moment when I read each statement aloud, feeling honored, loved, and celebrated.

I felt an overwhelming feeling of joy and accomplishment come over me. I couldn't help but smile and get choked up with a few tears. "Wow, I did it." Finally, I thought to myself. I raised two amazing human beings who saw the authenticity in my messages, the kindness in my words, and the support they needed.

Everyone who comes to my house and sees this picture on my desk asks me, "How did you get your kids to write this about you?" Sometimes, I laugh because I can sense the coerced scenario they imagine about me saying, "Write this now, or no food for you!" 

Hate to disappoint, but they did it all on their own. After I chuckle a bit to myself, I know the real question they ask is, "How did you get them to appreciate you as a mom?"

The answer is they can see the good in me because I choose to see the good in them. This is one of the many touchstones that has created a strong connection between me and my children, no matter their life phase.

And yes, as a bonus, it is so nice to be seen! Growing up, I did not know how that felt. I didn't feel celebrated by the people close to me, but that was because they couldn't celebrate themselves. Some people ask me how you could give what you did not receive.

The answer was, "Because others outside my inner circle modeled this to me, I took notice." So when I saw others receive a hug, praise, a kind word, and support, I felt that too. My empathetic nature allowed me to absorb the good; I am so grateful.

Now this has come full circle for me with my children. While I used to be on the outside, I am now on the inside. I am celebrated. That list represents my superpowers, and when I doubt myself, have a difficult moment, or even want to give up, I read that list out loud.

In return, I have my list for my children. I remind them of their superpowers every day when they come to me with a struggle, a question, a concern, or want a hug.

Empowering them empowers me.

We all need a list to help us remember the true essence of who we are by focusing on the good that makes us shine and show up for those most important relationships in our life, especially our children.

What gets in the way? As moms, we unknowingly bury our superpowers underneath the stories of our pain, struggle, and insecurities. Then we miss out on celebrating the good in ourselves, which can unconsciously carry over to our children being unable to do the same for themselves.

That is why it is necessary to create a story that empowers us so we can empower them. Change always begins with us.