Why I Feel So Passionate About Life Coaching Services for Adolescents
Sometimes our mission in our adult life becomes the very thing we struggled with when we were younger—I discovered mine and entered the life coaching profession. As a teen, I often felt stuck, scared, and stupid. Yes, the three S’s, a deadly combination for low self-esteem. I was always looking for validation from the outside to help me feel good about myself. But I hardly ever received it.
When something really difficult showed up in my life, I was lost not knowing what to do. I felt like I was in a bad game of “freeze dance” for most of my adolescent life. The game, where music plays, someone stops the music, yells freeze and everyone stops in their tracks, becoming statue-like. I felt like that game went on forever in my life.
Although I believe the adults in my life were well-meaning, they often mislabeled me as lazy, troubled, stubborn, a screw-up as well as disrespectful. Everyone kept telling me what I wasn’t doing right instead of helping me figure stuff out. They just assumed I didn’t care but I really did. I just didn’t know what the freak to do.
Looking back, I just needed someone to listen, cheer me on, and help me solve my stuff without judgment. Even though I had both my parents in my life, they were not able to give me the unconditional support that I needed to thrive. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, but they were not equipped to help me solve stuff. My parents used the skills that were passed down from their parents, but those skills were often grounded in unhealed wounds.
For a long time, I felt like I was playing catch up and spent half my life learning to rise. Later in life, I realized my parents just didn’t have anyone to model healthy parenting skills to them. There were no life coaches for teens at that time. But what I did know was that I didn’t want my children to struggle like I did, feeling stuck, alone, and ungrounded, So I changed the game and got skills.
Throughout the years, I sought out and educated myself on parenting practices that created a strong connection between me and my children. I realized an integral part of that was supporting them to find the answers to make good decisions instead of me dictating the decisions for them. I learned how to listen, create a non-judgment zone for discussion, remain neutral, ask powerful questions, and most importantly, respond instead of react.
These skills were super powerful, especially during their teen years, not only for them but me as well. They learned how to trust their inner guidance and not listen to the outside world to move them forward. Both my kids, now young adults, are the captains of their own ship. They know they can do anything, solve anything, and be anything they want in this world. As parents we all want our kids to feel this empowered so they can grow up to live their best life.
But many parents struggle to do this because they were never shown the way to believe in themselves so they don’t know how to model it or be the coach for their kids, just like my parents.
Parenting is not easy and although most parents are well intentioned, this sacred job we have been given can be overwhelming, exhausting, and extremely challenging.
Kids do not come with a how-to manual and there is a lot of misinformation out there. I cannot tell you how many books I recycled on parenting because they contained so many old-school outdated practices creating alienation between parents and kids.
We are now moving into a new era of parenting, where our kids don’t need us to boss them. Instead, they need us to guide them. While teens typically seek independence during the stage of adolescence, research shows that teens need their parents more than ever during this stage of life.
Every child has different needs and each one has a unique footprint in the world. What works for one teen might not work for another. Parenting can be confusing at times and there is not a one size fits all answer. I not only help teens gain life skills but also parents. I am a big believer that no parent or teen should have to figure everything out on their own. Finding the right support can be a game changer for you and your teen. I know it would have been for me and my parents.
That is why I offer different types of life coaching services for families and their children as well as financial assistance through my non-profit Mission A-Teenable. You can view my services here. Please know that I am able to tailor any service according to your needs. Feel free to reach out to see how I can help you and your family. Click here to receive a complimentary consultation.